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Very scary
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From Jack
Mike forgot his wedding anniversary and his
wife was really pissed. She told him: "Tomorrow morning,I
expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 under 6
seconds. AND IT BETTER BE THERE!
The next morning Mike got up really early.
When his wife woke up a couple hours later, she looked out the window
and saw a small
gift-wrapped box sitting in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the
wife put on her robe and ran to the driveway, then took the box into
the houe.
She opened it and found a new bathroom
scale.
Mike is not yet well enough to have visitors,
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The Top 14 Ways Hell is Better Than Your
Job
14. Your coffee stays hot all day!
13. Never have to look very far to find the
legal depart- ment.
12. In hell, you *know* who drank your Coke
in the fridge -- Satan!
11. 30% fewer "Dilbert" cartoons in the
break room.
10. In hell, that devil-may-care attitude
of yours comes in handy.
9. You get to spend more time with your
spouse now.
8. No more wondering if the boss hates you.
7. Riding to work in a handbasket beats the
hell out of public transportation.
6. Hourly dunks in searing pools of molten
lava actually quite invigorating.
5. Surfing porno sites all day scores
*major* points with the boss!
4. Your office: One free stale donut every
Friday. Hell: One brutal mutilation of a "Full House" cast member every
Friday.
3. Your job? Suit and tie. Hell? Pitchforks
and attitude, Baby!
2. Ferocious reptilian demons can
appreciate a good dirty joke now and then without threatening a sexual
harassment complaint.
1. Microwave popcorn -- without leaving
your cubicle!
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"Ethics are so annoying. I avoid them on
principle."
- Darby Conley
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"An adventure is only an inconvenience
rightly considered.
An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered."
- G. K. Chesterton
"Adventure is just bad
planning."
- Roald Amundsen
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OK,
move along, that's all there is, move along please ....
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