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Today
is Monday, April 2,
the 90th day of 2007. There
are 275 to go. The Sun is
at 10 Aries The moon is waning.
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If you want to search for anything sent in the last couple of years, read some jokes, or see what the weather is like here, try the web site:
<a href=" http://home.att.net/~martysjokes/index.html "> Joke Site</a>
You can even check out any Amber Alerts.
If you want to subscribe or unsubscribe etc. easily, just see the "housekeeping" section at the bottom of this message before the sig.
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From
Jay
HOW
TO STOP CHURCH GOSSIP
Mildred,
the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals,
kept sticking her nose in to other people's business. Several members
did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her
enough to maintain their silence.
She
made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being
an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's
only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told Frank (and several
others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.
Frank,
a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and
walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny... he said nothing.
Later
that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's
house...walked home...and left it there all night!!!
You
gotta love Frank!
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From
John J (read this page)
THE PINE TREES KNOW WHEN
IT'S EASTER
Check this picture.
http://wandascountryhome.com/pinetrees/index
Check this picture.
http://wandascountryhome.com/pinetrees/index
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From Linda
Subject:AN ENGINEERING
MIS-CALCULATION
Problem: A backhoe weighing 8 tons is on top of a flatbed trailer heading east on Interstate 70 near Hays, Kansas The extended shovel arm is made of hardened refined steel and the approaching overpass is made of commercial-grade concrete, reinforced with 1 1/2 inch steel rebar spaced at 6 inch intervals in a criss-cross pattern layered with 1 foot vertical spacing.
Solve: When the shovel arm hits the overpass, how fast does the trailer with the backhoe have to be going to slice the bridge in half? (Assume no headwind and no braking by the driver who is oblivious of the situation ...)
Extra Credit: Solve for the time and distance required for the entire rig to come to a complete stop after hitting the overpass at the speed calculated above .
Answer: Scroll down..........
Problem: A backhoe weighing 8 tons is on top of a flatbed trailer heading east on Interstate 70 near Hays, Kansas The extended shovel arm is made of hardened refined steel and the approaching overpass is made of commercial-grade concrete, reinforced with 1 1/2 inch steel rebar spaced at 6 inch intervals in a criss-cross pattern layered with 1 foot vertical spacing.
Solve: When the shovel arm hits the overpass, how fast does the trailer with the backhoe have to be going to slice the bridge in half? (Assume no headwind and no braking by the driver who is oblivious of the situation ...)
Extra Credit: Solve for the time and distance required for the entire rig to come to a complete stop after hitting the overpass at the speed calculated above .
Answer: Scroll down..........
Answer - It doesn't really matter... The point is that the trucking company just bought themselves a bridge
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Letterman's Top Ten
Top Ten Signs You're Watching Too
Much "American Idol"
10. At confession, you say,
"Forgive me, dawg, for I have sinned".
9. Each week, you vote one of your
kids out of the house.
8. After sex you say to your wife
in a British accent, "Awful. Just pathetic".
7. FOX switchboard operator knows
you by name.
6. When "Idol" comes on, so do the
adult diapers.
5. Had your stomach stapled like
Randy and you weren't even overweight.
4. You understand what Paula Abdul
is blabbing about.
3. No number 3 — writer watching "American Idol".
2. Got Adam Sandler to guest host
your talk show so you could stay home and vote
for Sanjaya.
1. Your TiVo recommends you get
some counseling.
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From
L.H.
FINALLY,
SOMEONE HAS CLEARED THIS UP FOR ME....
For centuries, Hindu women have worn a spot on their foreheads. We have always naively thought that it had something to do with their Religion.
The Indian Embassy in Washington, D.C. has recently revealed the true story.
When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the spot to see whether he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop or a motel in the United States.
If not, he must take a job in India answering telephones giving technical advice
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For centuries, Hindu women have worn a spot on their foreheads. We have always naively thought that it had something to do with their Religion.
The Indian Embassy in Washington, D.C. has recently revealed the true story.
When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the spot to see whether he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop or a motel in the United States.
If not, he must take a job in India answering telephones giving technical advice
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OK, move along, that's all there is,
move along please ....
Housekeeping:
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"We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office." - Aesop
Home is where the grab bars are.