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Today
is Monday, March 19, the 78th
day of 2007. There are 287 to go. The Sun is at 28-29 Pisces The moon is waning.
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If you want to search for anything sent in the last couple of years, read some jokes, or see what the weather is like here, try the web site:
<a href=" http://home.att.net/~martysjokes/index.html "> Joke Site</a>
You can even check out any Amber Alerts.
If you want to subscribe or unsubscribe etc. easily, just see the "housekeeping" section at the bottom of this message before the sig.
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Two Kentucky men tried to pull the
front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the
bumper of their pickup truck.
Instead of pulling the front panel off
the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off the truck.
They panicked and fled, leaving the
chain still attached to the machine, their bumper still attached to the
chain, and their license plate still attached to the bumper.
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Today's
Birthdays
On this day:
On this day:
Emmy Award-winning actor Patrick McGoohan is 79. (Born 1928) He won the Emmy for his work on the TV show "Columbo." His other credits include the films "A Time To Kill," "Braveheart," and "Escape from Alcatraz."
Actress
Renee Taylor is 74. (Born 1933) Her credits include the movies "The
Producers" and the remake of "Alfie" and the TV series "Mary Hartman,
Mary Hartman" and "The Nanny."
Tony
Award-winning actress Phyllis Newman is 74. (Born 1933) She won the
Tony for the musical "Subways Are For Sleeping." Her other credits
include the movies "The Human Stain," "Coming of Age," and "Picnic."
Author
Philip Roth is 74. (Born 1933) He won the Pulitzer Prize for the book
"American Pastoral." His other titles include "The Human Stain,"
"Portnoy's Complaint," and "Goodbye, Columbus."
TV
producer-director Burt Metcalf is 72. (Born 1935) He's best known for
his work on the TV series "M*A*S*H."
Emmy
Award-winning actress and director Nancy Malone is 72. (Born 1935) Her
TV directing credits include "Judging Amy," "Central Park West,"
"Touched By An Angel" and "Diagnosis Murder," while her acting credits
include the show "Forever Fernwood" and the TV movies "Lucan Tanner"
and "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn." She won the Emmy for her work on the TV
special "Bob Hope: The First 90 Years."
Actress
Ursula Andress is 71. (Born 1936) Among the films she has starred in
are "Dr. No" and "Clash of the Titans."
Convicted
assassin Sirhan Sirhan is 63. (Born 1944) He was convicted of killing
Robert F. Kennedy in 1968.
Singer
Ruth Pointer is 61. (Born 1946) She is a member of the group The
Pointer Sisters.
Tony
and Emmy Award-winning actress Glenn Close is 60. (Born 1947) She won
Tony Awards for her work in the Broadway shows "The Real Thing," "Death
and the Maiden," and "Sunset Boulevard," while she took the Emmy for
the TV movie "Serving in Silence: The Margarethe Commermeyer Story."
Her other credits include the TV series "The Shield" and the films "The
Stepford Wives," "101 Dalmatians," "Fatal Attraction," and "The Big
Chill."
Academy
Award-winning film producer Harvey Weinstein is 55. (Born 1952) He won
the Oscar for the movie "Shakespeare in Love." His numerous other
credits include the movies "Factory Girl," "School For Scoundrels,"
"Proof," "Underclassman," "Sin City," "The Aviator," "Cold Mountain,"
"Confessions of a Dangerous Mind," "Bad Santa," "The Human Stain,"
"Chicago," "Gangs of New York," the "Scary Movie" films, the "Kill
Bill" movies, and "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy.
Emmy
Award-winning actor Bruce Willis is 52. (Born 1955) He has won Emmys
for his work on "Moonlighting" and for his guest appearance on the
sitcom "Friends." His numerous film credits include "Alpha Dog," "16
Blocks," "Tears of the Sun," "Unbreakable," "Pulp Fiction," and the
"Die Hard" series.
Actress
Rachel Blanchard is 31. (Born 1976) Her credits include the movie
"Snakes on a Plane" and the TV series "7th Heaven" and "Clueless."
Actor
Craig Lamar Traylor is 18. (Born 1989) He's best known for his work on
the sitcom "Malcolm in the Middle."
© 2007 Cumulus Media Indianapolis
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From
GCFL
My
nephew works at a copy shop that provides a variety of computer
services. Once, a customer brought in a snapshot he had taken of the
front of his house. "Would you scan this picture onto a computer
screen?" he asked my nephew.
"Then
rotate it 180 degrees. I need a photo of the back of my house."
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From
Pat O
I
seldom pass along inspirational stuff, but this one got to me.
I
believe, in these difficult and mean-spirited times in which we live,
There needs to be a message of Hope.
We can all use a single image that speaks to us of love, harmony, peace, And joy.
An image that suggests all is right with the world.
.. Take a moment to reflect on the enclosed picture.
Hope you had a happy st. pattys day....
We can all use a single image that speaks to us of love, harmony, peace, And joy.
An image that suggests all is right with the world.
.. Take a moment to reflect on the enclosed picture.
Hope you had a happy st. pattys day....
Pat
O.
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M&M
Evolution theory:
M&M's:
The Theory of Evolution!
Whenever
I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the
strength and robustness of the candy as a species.
To
this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking
two candies between my thumb and forefinger,I apply pressure, squeezing
them together until one of them cracks and splinters.
That
is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately.
The
winner gets to go another round.
I
have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher,
and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior.
I
have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long
in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and
snack-food world.
Occasionally
I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or
flatter than the rest.
Almost
invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it
gives the candy extra strength.
In
this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I
reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of
the herd.
Since
it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an
envelope and send it to:
M&M
Mars,
A
Division of Mars, Inc.
Hackettstown,
NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A.,
along
with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding
purposes."
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From
Teddi
Wyoming
state troopers - gotta love them boys!!!!!
In most of the northern states, there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when the temperatures drop in the single digits or below.
In most of the northern states, there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when the temperatures drop in the single digits or below.
One
morning in March 2004 about 3 a.m. a Wyoming State Trooper responded to
a call of a car off the shoulder on the outside of the town of Casper.
The trooper located the car, with the engine still running, stuck in
the deep snow along side the highway. Pulling in behind it with
his emergency lights on, the Officer walked to the driver's door to
find a man passed out behind the wheel, and a near empty bottle of
vodka in the seat beside him.
The trooper tapped on the window and the driver woke up. Seeing the rotating lights in his rear view mirror and the State policeman standing next to his car, the man panicked. He jerked the gearshift into drive and hit the gas. The car's speedometer was showing 20-30-40 then 50 mph as the tires spun, but the car was still stuck in the snow.
The trooper tapped on the window and the driver woke up. Seeing the rotating lights in his rear view mirror and the State policeman standing next to his car, the man panicked. He jerked the gearshift into drive and hit the gas. The car's speedometer was showing 20-30-40 then 50 mph as the tires spun, but the car was still stuck in the snow.
The
trooper, having a sense of humor, began running in place next to the
speeding, but still stationary, car. The driver was totally freaked,
thinking the officer was actually keeping up with him. This goes
on for about 30 seconds when the trooper yelled at the man, ordering
him to "pull over!" The driver obeyed, turned his wheel, and
stopped the engine.
Once
out of the car the drunken driver asked about the Trooper's special
training and just how he could possibly run 50 mph. The man was
arrested, still believing that a trooper had outrun his car.
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OK, move along, that's all there is,
move along please ....
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Housekeeping:
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any
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"Experience
is a great advantage. The problem is that when you get the experience,
you're too damned old to do anything about it."
- Jimmy Conners
Home is where the grab bars are.