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Today is Thursday, February 15, the 46th day of 2007. There are 319 to go. The Sun is at 26-27 Aquarius. The moon is waning.
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Today's groaner ................

Did you hear about the synagogue in Philadelphia where an unusual number of the temple members were converting and becoming Quakers?

Someone asked the rabbi how he felt about so many of his congregation leaving the Jewish faith for a religion that eschews luxuries and emphasizes simplicity.

The rabbi's response was rather forthright. "I'm really not concerned," he said. "Some of my best Jews are Friends."

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A warning from Liz



Watch out for this scam


READ CAREFULLY!

I don't how many of you shop at Wal-Mart & Target, but this may be how 

I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. This happened to me and it could happen to you!!

Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 23-year-old well-built cowboy type guys come over to your car as you are packing your shopping in the trunk. They  both are shirtless and start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex with their highly-defined chest muscles and rock-hard abs exposed. 

It's impossible not to look.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another  Wal-Mart or Target.

You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start talking dirty about what they want to do to you. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and begins kissing your neck and begs you to pull over so  he can make love to you!!

While this is going on the other guy steals your purse!!

I had my purse stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday,again on Saturday, and also yesterday and most likely tomorrow.

Dig out those old purses girls. . . .

We are going shopping! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
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While taking down the vitals for a soon-to-be Mom, the doctor asked how much she weighed.

"I really don't know," she said.

"Well, more or less," he prompted.

"More, I guess," she answered sadly.

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My friend is notorious for waiting until the needle is on empty before filling his gas tank.  Finally, his car died on him, and we had to push it to the nearest filling station. After my friend finished pumping gas, the attendant asked if he'd learned anything.

"Yeah," my friend muttered. "I've learned I have a 15-gallon tank!"

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Have to say - this is funny

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Dogs pees upside down   <----  Ananova

A Chinese woman says her pet dog has taken to peeing upside down.

Mrs Chen, of Changchun city, says 18-month-old 'Baby' began peeing in the new position just three months ago.

"He used to pee as other dogs do. But one day I found him putting bothhind legs up onto the tree to pee," she told East Asia Business News.

"I thought maybe that was only for the one day. But from then on, unexpectedly, he would pee in that acrobatic position."

Chen says Baby's other unusual trait is that he is a vegetarian.

"He can't eat meat because it makes him throw up. So I only feed him egg yolk and corn pancakes, and that's been his main food," she said.

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Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School.

Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge, and all the people walked across safely. He used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters and call in an air strike. They sent in bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.

"Now, Joey, is that REALLY what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.

Well, no, Mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!

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Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me .. I know we've been friends for a long time but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

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Alex was a sports fan whose face was always either buried in the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen. 

One night as he lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got up, walked across the room and unplugged the TV.

"Hey," Alex shouted, "what do you think you are doing?"

"I'm sick of sports, I'm sick of TV," she replied. "You haven't touched me in months.  We're going to talk about sex right now!"

"OK, OK. So," he asked after a moment, "how often do you think Brett Favre gets laid?"

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OK, move along, that's all there is, move along please ....

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Housekeeping:

While I write some of what appears in my newsletters, mostly it is stuff that's merely passed on, often without attribution. If at all possible, attribution is given, and any copyright notice, if copyrighted material is used at all,  is ALWAYS included. Written permission(s) (email-I can't handwrite) are sought where practicable. If you see anything at all that shouldn't be there, should be differently attributed, or is objectionable in any way, please let me know by simply writing to me . In no event is any income derived, and so the following notice is included:

*COPYRIGHT NOTICE** In accordance with Title 17 U. S. C. Section 107, any copyrighted work in this message is distributed under fair use without profit or payment..
[Ref. Fair Use ]

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One good thing about apathy is you don't have to exert yourself to show you're sincere about it.

Home is where the grab bars are.